The Spirit

Hebrews 4:12

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart"

Just how many of our thoughts, what makes good sense to us, can make up for the wisdom that comes by The Spirit? 5? 28? 362? 1260? Seek more from The Spirit!

Covered with Courage

Here's another recently realized nugget: courage doesn't mean being without fear, it means being fearful and still walking. I've been learning how to live well with a heart whose bottom occasionally falls out (i.e. waves of fear and anxiety). My first preference and approach is to find a solution that eliminates the feeling. Obvious, right? I wouldn't want it any other way; for me or for others. And I'm finding some really great ways that are making a difference. Ways, like routes, that help me avoid encountering those rough, anxious obstacles along the road. BUT, I was reminded today in the midst of a wave of anxiety (and trying to combat it) that I can be courageous AND anxious. It may sound obvious, but it actual brought me comfort in the midst of this uncomfortable feeling. Even though I desperately wanted the feeling to go away, I felt like I could rest while carrying fear. Imagine a traveler who occasionally finds himself bothered by an unwelcome growling, barking mutt. Try as he may for methods of keeping this dog away, it occurs to him to put a leash on it and bring it along. The idea I had felt something like bagging my fear, covering it with courage, swinging it over my shoulder, and proceeding to walk into the woods. I can't always keep from feeling anxious waves crash on my shores, but I also don't have to let them keep me from being courageous and continuing to swim.

It's not earth-shattering, but it helps.

Nearness to God

Another moment of inspiring realization. During a short time of conversational prayer tonight I realized that I'm no closer to God, no more intimate with God, no more pleasing to God, with me feeling better. With me experiencing my gifts and operating in them, I'm no closer to God than I was in my time of dispair and confusion with what's going on. It's an astonishing and suprising idea to me, but strikes me as profoundly true: that though I feel better and more actuated in my operating from a designed place of living with God, I'm no more closer or pleasing to God than I was when I felt confused and uncomfortable with where I was. This is simple, yet profound. I wish I could unpack it more, but there it is.

We're no more closer and pleasing to our Father when we're convinced of it, than when we're scared and unsure of it. That's amazing.

May You continue to teach me and hold me.

(Post addition: So what's it worth to be aware of God's nearness? Is there, therefore, any nearness to or farness from God? I do think so, but not in the same way I previously imagined. The nearness of God I pursue is 1) that I am aware of God's nearness for my pleasure and comfort, and 2) that I am open and honest with God in a way that He takes pleasure in: as I take pleasure in the nearness of my son as he snuggles in my lap.)